The Japanese Farewell Poems Translated by AI - Elaine

The two texts I have chosen this time are both farewell poems.

The first one was written by Toyotomi Hideyoshi. This poem reflects on the fleeting nature of life and power, comparing it to dew and a dream.

Original text:

露と落ち

露と消えにし

我が身かな

難波のことは

夢のまた夢 

DeepL:

Like dew that falls

Like dew that vanishes

Such is my life

Naniwa matters

A dream within a dream

ChatGPT-5:

Like the dew I fall,

like the dew I vanish—

such is my life.

All the glory of Naniwa

is nothing but a dream within a dream.

 

DeepL is competent but flat. It gets the basic meaning right but translates 「こと」 here literally as matters. Considering Toyotomi Hideyoshi's life, it refers to the glorious hegemony and power he established in Naniwa (the old name for Osaka).

In comparison, I prefer ChatGPT's "all the glory". The phrase "all the glory" perfectly interprets the cultural context of 「難波のことは」. Adding "nothing but" strengthens the poem's tone of ultimate disillusionment. At the same time, ChatGPT's translation of the beginning is more poetic. The repetition of "I fall... I vanish" creates a powerful, personal connection between the speaker and the dew, capturing the essence of the original. 

The second one was written by Ishida Mitsunari.

Original text:

筑摩江や

芦间に灯す

かがり火と　 

ともに消えゆく

我が身なりけり 

DeepL:

Chikuma River

As the bonfire

burns in the reeds,

my life too

fades away.

ChatGPT-5:

At Tsukuma Bay,

the bonfires lit among the reeds—

together with their fading glow,

so too will vanish

this very life of mine.

 

DeepL correctly identifies "Chikuma River" (a key location in Ishida Mitsunari's domain), whereas ChatGPT's "Tsukuma Bay" is likely a transliteration error. But the phrase "their fading glow" in ChatGPT's translation is a good choice as it captures the moment of dimming light. The structure "together with... so too"  conveys the simultaneous, interconnected fading of the fire and the self. The final line "this very life of mine" placed alone to emphasize a tragic finish.

Looking back to DeepL, the sequence of "Burns" followed immediately by "Fade away" feels slightly logically disjointed. ChatGPT's progression from "lit" to "fading glow" to "vanish" is a more coherent metaphor for the process of death.